Mailbag

Go Jints,

At least the Pybus Report had a championship year. Poems, procrastinations and pissin and moaning for our boys in blue. Anyway, here some ideas for the playoffs and the Giants of Fore (can’t be the Giants of Yore – they stink)

Superbowl – Who are the hot teams? Most missed the playoffs so that leaves: Green Bay vs San Diego

Green Bay will nuke the Vikes and then get revenge on the Falcons in their house and finally torch the Eagles in their house too. Philly will be mentioned in the same breath as Buffalo and Minnesota as classic examples on choke teams, except worse since they will be left on the doorstep of the Show 4 years in a Row.

San Diego will shoot the tires from under the Jets, and then follow the Jints offensive game plan to outscore the Steelers and finally, overcome the Pats in a close one in the snow in NE. Achieving that impossibility makes them the team of destiny and they blow away GB to become the SB Champs. And then they wait for the draft in 3 months where they will have a top 11 to 15 draft pick, compliments of Ernie the Panic Attack Accorsi. Live isa beach!!!

Next year, hopefully big changes in LB, DB and OL. My vote - trade Will “Oven Mitts” Allen and Barrett in my hair Green and Shawn the Yawn Williams to get a 1st round draft pick, move Luke Petigout to right tackle and draft a left tackle. Bench Lewis, move Greisen inside to Mike and buy another Will linebacker and cornerback. Bench or trade Toomer (he reminds me of Calloway without the hands) and try to get Brandon Stokely from Eli's big brother, Peyton. Stokely and Jamaar Taylor on the outside, Shockey, Tyree and Hillard inside. Now there's Thunder and Lightning!! Oh yeah, bye bye, Ron Dayne and Kurt Warner, good luck in Miami. Isn't that where all New Yorkers retire to anyway?

If the injuries stay away, maybe we can get to 9 and 6 with a semi-rookie QB. Here’s to a long off-season.

Take care

Jerry Moran

Jerry,

Some excellent observations and ideas. I couldn't agree more about "Oven Mitts" Allen. And, if it makes you feel better Toomer will probably be traded due to the "Rule of Pessimist". It works like this- whatever player jersey Pauly buys, that player is guaranteed to be traded within two years. I received a Toomer jersey for Christmas last year, so his time is just about up!

San Diego? An interesting pick. I always like to see a 'dog surprise people in the playoffs, and the Chargers would have to be considered an underdog in the AFC. Stranger things have happened! In the NFC, I agree. The Eagles will be remembered as the little train that couldn't; never quite getting over the top. Go Packers!

And, Jerry, I couldn't help but notice your email address. Have you ever met Paris? Was that truly Nostra on the internet video with her? Inquiring minds want to know!

~Pauly

The Pybus Report was, as usual, clever, well-researched, ACCURATE, and funny. The Nazi this week showed a side we have rarely seen...and a terrific side it was...nice job Hut.

Paulie...this seasonal poetry is going to be an anticipated part of every Christmas for me...absolutely awesome job. I have finally sent the Pybus Report off to Florida to Gregg, and hope he can be part of the weekly fun..

It is indeed a season of magic...when a bunch of young guys welcome an old guy into their midst...it sure is wonderful to have friends such as you all. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you, and to your wonderful families.

Papa Jim

Another masterpiece by Nostra, Al and Joe. You guys are my favorite writers!

Because I worked 3rd shift last night, and just got home from it a couple minutes ago, I am feeling not only very sleepy, but a little sentimental after reading the Pybus report. As much as we poke fun at each other all year (there is just so much material with Al), like both Joe and Al mention in this weeks report, I too am very thankful to have all of you as my friends, hell hanging around you guys makes me feel somewhat normal! But seriously, thanks for being good buddies, and enjoying adult beverages, Baseball, Kahoots, the Legion, football, poker, and most of all your families, as much as I do.

Uncle Dave

Sniff… Papa Jim and Uncle Dave, sniff… we love you, man! Thanks for participating, for being loyal subscribers, and for contributing to the delinquency of our writers!

~ The Pybus Report Staff

Keith,

Have you ever seen such a bad game!! Unbelievable. I saw so many examples of bad luck happening to a bad team. After the Derrick Ward fumble, the Raven’s running back fumbled and it was recovered by Alexander but the zebras gave it back to the Ravens. Next play, TD toss to Heap. In the second quarter, Hilliard runs a stop-start pattern, the Raven’s CB falls down and trips Hilliard, but there’s no flag and the ball falls in the end zone with no one within 20 yards of it. It could have been an easy TD.

Eli looked completely lost. They should bench him for the Steelers game and let him watch from the booth upstairs. Then let him finish against the Bengals and the Cowboys. Can’t wait for next years draft, oh yeah, we don’t have one. Instead San Diego, who is going to be in the playoffs, is going to end up with the 4^th or 5^th pick, compliments of Ernie the Philanthropist Accorsi. I don’t see a way out of this predicament. Bad offensive line, slow wide outs, butter fingered tight end, slow linebackers and Will “Toast” Allen. Wow, where do we start? Maybe we can trade Tiki and Strahan to a team that is contending for some good draft picks and start from scratch.

Take care and Merry Christmas.

Jerry

Dear Jerry,

You are one of numerous people this week to say the Giants are not only

dead, but are several years away from being reborn. Everybody agrees

that it's not just Eli, too. Toomer and Hilliard don't earn any respect

aroundn the league, Shockey drops way too many, and the o-line is acknowledged to be among the worst in the league.

The Giants could be decent next year. Trades and free agency can

rebuild a team pretty quickly. Pittsburgh and San Diego were both pretty weak last year, and look at them now. The Giants have a decent defensive core (when everyone is healthy), but the offense really needs an overhaul,

starting with the line.

This year is shot, but what the heck, it was fun for awhile. Although

I will always be a Giants fan, I think I'll cheer for Green Bay and New

England, at least for the rest of this year. But even this could lead

To even more frustration. The Eagles should waltz through the NFC

playoffs; who can stop them? Atlanta? Seattle? Whoever comes out of the AFC is going to have gone through at least two tough games; they may be worn

out for the Super Bowl. Could it possibly be Philadelphia's year? I guess

if the Giants can't win it, it's nice to see another NFC East team get

there. As long as it isn't Dallas, the Pybus Report hates Dallas!

Merry Christmas! Go Giants, Packers and Patriots.

Thanks,

Keith Pybus

PR,

Gibril Wilson plays SS...not corner...he stepped into that position when Shaun Williams was hurt...

I love him. I think Wilson is the best defensive rookie the Giants have had in an extremely long time...prob since Shaun Williams. I don't know what the giants are going to do when Williams comes back....he's too good at the line of scrimmage to play FS..

What does the Pybus report think?

Mark

NostraPybus' Reply (see below for Giant Nazi Reply) Dear Mr. Maker, er... Mark,

First, the Pybus Report thinks we should do better research, and we'll talk to the editor this afternoon too! It's embarrassing to let a mistake like that get through the cracks. Second, PR agrees with you that Gibril Wilson is the best defensive rookie the Giants have had in a very long time. What an impact he's made. Now, the 64 million dollar question: what do you do when Shaun Williams comes back? Move one of the Wills to FS? What ever the Giants do, they MUST keep Wilson involved. What a nice problem to have! ~ Nostra

Giant Nazi Reply- Good technical catch my fellow Giant Nazi. As a very long time Giant fan and football fan, I believe that Gibril is the closest defensive player in our blue secondary to a Jack Tatum. Not as an "assassin" but as a hitter. As I wrote last week, being penalized for clean hits can deter you from repeating the action. How will he be coached through this, is the real question.

As a good hitting safety he can become one of those key players in our rebuild. As for returning players let us not forget old 31 (Jason
"How's my hair?" Sehorn.) A huge initial impact on the Giant "D" core but injury and marriage put an end to that. I believe if these guys are as good as we now believe they are, they will find their own level and be able to play any of those 4 defensive back (not including left or right) positions. ~The Giant Nazi

Oh Great and Powerful One,

My prediction = Jints win 31 - 28 by coming from behind. 2 touchdowns rushing, one touchdown passing, 1 touchdown by special teams or defense and 1 field goal.

Book it, Dan-o

Jerry M

Jerry, Several have come forward (including Flynn, the Pybus Report Financial Advisor) and predicted the Giants win. My feelings (as expressed through NostraPybus) are that Big Blue will pull off the upset. But I was too much of a chicken to write that as the sane and sober editor of the PR. Go Giants!,

Dear NostraPybus,

I'm a long time reader, first time writer. I never thought it would happen to me. There I was, picking cucumbers in the grocery when this beautiful woman came up to me and...oops, sorry, that's for a different publication...

What a week! First the Yankees completely fall apart in the ALCS - I never saw that coming. Did the all-knowing NostraPybus? Once the shock was over and the 12 ounce doses of medication wore off, I turned my sights to football. If the Yankees couldn't hold down the Red Sox, surely the Jets would end the Patriots streak, right? Wrong. Although Gang Green hung tough, they couldn't end the Pats consecutive game win streak (the curse of Belichick?). Thus ended my week from heck (hey, I'm down in heart of Amish country in Lancaster, PA - whaddya expect?).

With little access to the world of New York football teams down here, I have to ask NostraPybus - what

is the outlook for the Giants and Jets for the rest of the season? Will there be salt poured into the wounds of New Yorkers (and ex-New Yorkers) by

having to watch the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl?

A loyal reader,

Amish Andy

editors note: As NostrsPybus has been deeply medicated since the Sox WS victory, the Giant Nazi will respond:

Dear Amish Andy,

Thanks for reading, but most of all thanks for joining in the fun.

Anyway, lets talk more about the cucumber incident. I believe that this could be a sign of (oops, no more of that since they took my license away).

The Jets will stay competitive through the season. I believe to the point where they should get a playoff invite. As for the Giants, this week will be very telling. How badly they allow themselves to be beaten by the Vikings will tell us if they have already folded the tents or they will at least entertain through Thanksgiving.

In summary I believe that the fans of both clubs will suffer as one during the Superbowl. Yes Amish Andy, there is a Santa Claus and he will be visiting the Patriots and most likely the Eagles.

If it is the Eagles, you will get to double dip in the spankings, oh what fun.

The Giant Nazi

Dear NostraPybus,

As a lifelong Red Sox fan, do you have any suggestions on how to deal with a tragic and heartbreaking playoff series loss? As a Yankees fan, I'm not used to this and I was hoping you could offer some suggestions. I figure you've had plenty of experience in this area. And please hurry, I'm almost out on the ledge right now.

Signed,

Wadetil Nexyear

Dear Wade,

Yankee fans will never be as good at dealing with loss as Red Sox fans. We've had much more practice. Nostra has this advice for you. Drink heavily. You should have started when you lost two extra inning games in a row. This has always helped NostraPybus. That little voice you hear calling. "drink me..." is coming from the Maker's Mark bottle; listen to it.

Also, keep telling yourself that it's not as bad as those years in the late 60's, when the Yankees were last (or almost last). If that doesn't work, Nostra has some unidentified substances that can be ingested or smoked that will relieve your misery, or make you forget.

Dear Nostra,

I am thrilled to read that as a Nostrababy, you wore the Jerseys of Hornung, and Anderson, legendary running backs of the Green Bay Packers. Those of us from the Holy Land (Wisconsin) have always looked upon the Giants faithful as our brethren. Would hope that the local fans of these two great teams could again come together and enjoy libations at the "Packer Palace". Wishing the Giants the best of luck in the upcoming season!

Uncle Dave

Dear Dave,

You wish the Giants much luck this season, and that is appropriate, because they shall need all the luck they can get. NostraPybus has always been a fan of tough,hard nosed, hard drinking football as exemplified by Vince Lombardi's Packers; Jerry Kramer, Bart Starr, Jim Taylor, Paul Hornung, and Max McGee. McGee once said something like, "On 3rd and 10 you can have your milk drinkers, I'll take the whisky drinkers every time." NostraPybus holds close to his bosom such players as these. The Packer tradition lives on today in the hearts of Bret Favre and the loyal, robust, bratwursteating, cheap Milwaukee Beer drinking Packer fans.

ThePacker-Giant connection has always been a strong one. "Mr. Packer" himself, Vince Lombardi was one of the "7 blocks of granite" at Fordham, in the Bronx, NY (a reference to his line play on the Fordham football team, not his academic prowess), and was an assistant coach for our NY Giants before rebuilding the Packers into the premier NFL team. Nostra will beglad to raise a glass or two...or several...to the Packers. Actually,any excuse will do.

Great Website. And yes, I did click on Free Porn. - JA

Dear JA, We have Free Porn? Sign me up!!! -NostraPybus

Pauly,

As someone who is sadly, related to Nostrababy (both in his previous life as a somewhat normal person and in his current reincarnation) let me be one of the first to congratulate you on this site.

Our relationship with the NY Giants goes back to their training camp days at Fairfield U when we got to see Gifford, Rote and Connerly up close and personal. Although Nostra claims to be a die-hard Giant fan, it is interesting to note that during his glory days as a high school running back, he wore the numbers of Paul Hornung (5) and Donny Anderson (44). A degree of disloyalty to the Giants? Or was Nostra already viewing the world from a slightly different angle?

As I live outside the NY Giant coverage area, I rely on the Daily News web site and Nostrababy for my weekly dose of Big Blue. Here's to another year of (successful??) Giants football and the always insightful (or lack thereof) Pybus Report.

The Professor

Dear Professor,

The Pybus Report staff was thrilled to receive our first positive feedback on our website. We were also confused and shocked to read about Nostra's past. Not so much that he wore the numbers of former Packer greats Horning and Anderson. No, the Pybus report staff has pictures of Nostra in full Packer regalia during the playoffs last year. Nostra looked quite at home in green and gold- so that comes as no surprise. What we were shocked to learn was that Nostrababy has relatives who readily admit to knowing him, and that Nostra was once a normal person!

NostraPybus has been in a deep trance, and has not been heard from since yesterday afternoon. We anxiously await his response!

Thanks again for your feedback!

Pauly