NostraPybus: NostraPybus claims to be a direct descendant of his namesake, Nostradamus.  One branch of the family is said to have come from the Transylvania section of Romania where they were captured by Gypsies.  Here, the family acquired the art of fortunetelling.  NostraPybus’s grandfather schooled Rasputin in the ways of psychic phenomena and debauchery prior the Mad Monk’s rise within the Russian Royal Family.  NostraPybus claims to be 69 years old, and at the same time 23 years old.  This happened when he was reincarnated into his own lifeless body, which was miraculously revived by strong medications, potions, and a spell cast by a zombie devil worshiper friend.  This explains NostraPybus’s multiple personalities and fondness for medication, both natural and unnatural.  This may also have been the first of many near-death experiences and death-like trances in which NostraPybus sees the future.  When NostraPybus fails to achieve the desired transcendental state, he resorts to various substances to induce a trance (or coma) to visit the nether-world and consort with the demons, devils, warlocks, and spirits of the ether.

Pauli Pessimist: Pauly's grandparents are from Italy.  Grandma and Grandpa Pezzimisti made their way from Italy to Southern England in the fall of 1911.  In April 1912 the Pezzimisti family booked passage on The Titanic, sailing out of Southampton, England.  Grandpa Pezzimisti was against the trip though, worrying that there were just too many things that could go wrong; and besides he was deathly afraid of sea sickness.  Just one day out from Southampton, suffering from what he thought was sea sickness, (but what turned out to be nothing more than too much bad wine), Grandpa Pezzimisti forced the family to debark in Cherbourg, France.  Their life savings gone, Grandpa Pezzimisti tried his hand at several odd jobs to save enough money to book passage on the Lusitania, but he couldn’t quite come up with the fare.  He signed-on as a coal stoker on a merchant ship, and was allowed to bring his family with him.  When they arrived in the US, the Pezzimisti family applied for US Citizenship.  A clerk on Rikers Island transformed the name from Pezzimisti to Pessimist.  It turns out that the merchant ship was actually smuggling goods into the United States, so the family was processed through Riker’s Island instead of Ellis Island.  Grandma Pezzimisti’s pregnancy eventually won the family their freedom.

The Giant Nazi: AKA Herr Biermeister, Jabba Al Hut, and The Giant Nazi.  Jabba fits him well, because Al is big.  He played right guard and middle linebacker for St. John the Immaculate.  The Immaculate part isn’t a religious reference.  It seems the brothers who ran St. John, Manny, Moe, and Jack, required the student body to scrub the place down every Thursday.  The place was immaculate!  We call him the Giant Nazi because of his game day ritual.  Al hosts our Sunday Giants soirée during the football season.  You must ring his doorbell with your nose, chin, or elbow (because you hands are full with something good to eat, or drink).  When Al opens the door, you present your offering.  If it is accepted, Al lets you in to watch the game on his 67 inch flat screen high-definition plasma TV.  If your offering is rejected, Al announces in very “Soup Nazi” fashion, “No football for you!” and you are sent packing to try again, or to watch the Giants with your wife.